As usual

As usual things are not going well. Everything's crumbling down. Everytime I have a couple of good days, I'll get bad days in return. I don't know what to do. So is tomorrow going to be a bad day too, God? Tell me...
Just show me a fucking miracle. Just tell me that she'll be mind in the end, cause I can't not have her. I really can't. If I could just let go, I would. I'm trying.

So happy yet upset

Ms H got me this last night. I haven't thank her yet, cause I don't know if I should return it to her or not. I love it so much eventhough those weren't really the design that I want. But I like it anyway. I feel like if I accept this I'd be owing her.. She's already given me so many things and yes I'm so fucking happy but it isn't right. It's definitely not right to accept this especially when we're not talking. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say to her...

My fishy

So long since I did a GIF. So long since I drew. Grrr, sis nagging at me to study, Sian. Sigh kbye

Shall write a proper post tmr,

ʕ•̬͡•ʔ how cute is that?
Hahahah, talked to her today. Happy. Heh Heh Heh. So much to talk about yet so little I'm posting. Too tired, goodnight.

Bad day.

Had a bad day, screwed up Chinese oral. Never did so badly before. Sigh met a new teacher, Ms Chua. Idk what this is all about. I'm so tired. Drew this for her.

List of things I need

I know I know, this is probably the third list I'm making. But seriously I want/need all these! Pretty please?

Longboard accessories

Bracelets

Converse Superman limited edition

Converse Batman limited edition

Vans (every colour)

Casio watches

Doctor Dre beats (need a new one)

Polaroid (I like the colour but I heard that they don't sell the films anymore so Idk)

I took a damn long time adding the photos together, all the things in the photo are pretty much what i want. I know I have no life but it makes me happy to find things I want to get. So I hope I get all of them soon.

One love

Hey there, you look like someone I know. You remind me of the girl I've fallen completely in love with by the name of Nufail.

I'm fucking done

I just want time to freeze. I just want to be alone, tears forming right now as I type this. I'm so tired, yet there's nothing I can do to feel better. To know that everyday it gets harder, it's depressing. To know that there's no one you can rely on, it's worse. Do all teenagers go through this? Cause seriously I had enough.

Maybe I should do that, who cares anyway? I feel better everytime I hurt myself. And I just don't give a fuck anymore

To you.

Have I ever told you, I love you?
Your imperfections, your face, everything about you. You light up my world, you mean everything to me. Everytime I see you, my heart dies. Everytime I think about you my heart dies again. I never told you that whenever you're around me, I can't breathe. You take my breath away, you are my affinity. I love you so much, it hurts so badly. So so badly. This post would never end, I can continue to talk about you. But what's the point when you don't even know this blog exist or my feelings for you even?

Expect the unexpected

It has been a really long day. In the morning, I actually had fun in school. We had free periods for SS and F&N. It's so rare to have Mdm Wahidah absent.. But things got alittle too shitty after school. Really shitty. And then just when I thought today was so fucked up, she replied me. And changed my mood completely. Sigh. I don't know what will happen tmr and I'm actually scared since tmr's Friday the 13th. But I really really hope things will go well with us tmr.

You and me again.

Haiz..

One day, you'll be mine.

Goodnight.

o(╯□╰)o

Why? Do I really suck so much?

Aw └(^o^)┘

I want us to be like that, please.

LMAO

This is too funny.

Good day

I had a really good day today. Though I'm tired, I really am happy. School was somewhat fun. We had pe, Eng, maths and chem. I think I had a nervous breakdown after Eng, so I went crazy. It was so funny. Those that had their N level oral today got to skip Bio. I want to talk about what happened after oral cause that's where the fun part starts but, I'm really tired and as long as I can remember what happened, I'm satisfied (:

Remember what I told you before? Guess not.

Feeling as lonely as ever.
My N level English oral is tomorrow, fuck me now.
Can someone buy a house and build me these rooms for me? I will fucking love you.

Goodbye ........

We haven't talked properly in a very long time. I've been bottling up everything inside. Whatever that's on my mind, stays in there. Why can't you just fix this up? Why can't you just read my mind, and make me happy? You don't want to. If you did we wouldn't be here now. Sometimes I look at the monkey, you bought for me last year, and all I want to do with it is just throw it away. I don't want to rely on it when I cry myself to sleep everynight. I don't want to hug it when I miss you. I don't want to even look at it cause it reminds me of you. Can't you see? Everything around me reminds me of you, and then you're there hurting me. Everyone's out to get me... But you can't. You don't deserve to me hurt me, not anymore. If you don't want me, I'll find someone else who needs me.

Support LGBT!

Just reached home. So tired. Pink dot was just okay. Kumar was so cute... Hahaha though there were 15000 people there, I didn't like anyone. I just kept thinking about her. Sigh. Okay goodnight

Stickman exercising on my hand. Haha.

You and me?

I like her, a lot. Was devastated at first when I thought she left without me. But somehow something made me stay behind, and then she appeared. 10 minutes was all I had with her, but that was enough. I know I'm going down a wrong path, I know she doesn't feel the way I feel about her. But what can I do when my heart aches for her everytime I don't see her? I can't help it. So love me please,

Sigh

You have no idea.

You may think I'm being difficult and maybe unreasonable but just wait. One day you'll know why.

Sick

It's 3:50ish in the morning. Surprisingly both my brother and sister are still awake. I'm really tired, I can actually feel my body getting heavier every minute. I'm having a fever, my body's so hot I'm perspiring, my nose is having mood swing, one minute it's blocked, the other minute it leaks non stop. My dustbin is filled with tissue. My eyes are itchy and watery.. I'm feeling horrible and I don't know what to do. I want a nice cup of hot chocolate, but my legs are so heavy I don't think I'll be able to make it downstairs. Oh great there's water coming out from everywhere... and I just stained my bed. I think there is something wrong with me. I can feel a headache coming, I'm so sleepy. Decided to sleep downstairs since my bed's dirty ( tried my best to clean but the best way is to change my bedsheet I'll do that tmr ) and I don't really want to disturb my sister with my random sneezing. I feel like shit. Help me please

What's the point?

Told myself not to trust anyone. So how the fuck did I end up telling you everything?
I'm tired. I'm done.. Living my life as if I'm dead.

I can't

I can't do this.
I can't hold on any longer.
I can't keep bottling everything.
I can't keep pretending.
I can't keep dragging this.
I can't be happy.
I can't say anything correctly.
I can't do anything right.

But I can end all this.

Don't have a say in anything

Have you ever felt like it was the end of your world and all you could do was watch it crumble down? How is it that every single thing in my life isn't working out? If I actually was a bad person, maybe I'd blame it on karma. But I'm not, I don't steal, I don't kill.. I mean I try to be good, but nothing ever seems to be good enough.

Just a rough sketch for my sis

The ballerina

The frightened ballerina, standing on her toes stood behind the curtain in a dainty pose. Having practiced faithfully hour after hour, inside her heart was pounding. Outside her muscled power overcame her fear. The overture now playing, each note was in her ear. And as the curtain opened it took away her fear. The stage, the lights became her love.Each pirouette and leap took her way above into a different sphere. The audience, mesmerized, intent on every motion, appreciation on their faces showed deep emotion. And as the music ended she took her final bow.No longer was she frightened, in fact emboldened now. She knew why she was here. To dance, to dance at every given chance. To hear the applause and hear them call her name. And so the ballerina standing on her toes so graceful and dainty is awed as she does hear. 'Bravo, bravo,bravo, my dear.'

Edwina Reize

I hate this

Lotte world

Spent the whole day at lotte world. Best day in Korea.

One word, why?

and then suddenly, for no apparent reason, everything started to fall apart.

Hurt

How is it I don't feel like I'm a part of this family? If I don't belong here, then where do I belong? Who am I? Do you know how pain it is when you're not welcomed anywhere? Not even to people you call family. If only I could run, run and never return.

You promised.

Have you forgotten what you said to me?

Yawn.

I'm so tired. I feel so nauseous, I can actually puke right now. Everyday a part of me disappears, my energy level gets lower and lower. It's like there's a leech stuck on me, sucking the life out of me. This is exhausting, my body and mind's fucked. I'm fucked.

Soon

I'm falling to pieces

Went to school today. Mr Faizal didn't even look at my letter when I gave it to him. Had 3 period with Ms n in the morning, couldn't stop looking at her. The day was slow and boring, have been having a headache since this morning. Cut my hair after school, since then everybody who has seen my new haircut has been criticizing it. I guess I don't blame them, even my brother and sister says it's ugly. My appearance is ugly, my personality is ugly, I guess it fits. Feeling so hopeless and useless, as usual.

Hard

Don't know why things have to be so damn difficult. Nobody wants to fucking help, everyone just cares about their fucking self.

My vampire girl

This is what happens when I'm just in a bad mood, nothing comes out well.

Ps. It actually looks a lot better real life.