Cause you keep dragging me down.

Gonna sleep with a heavy heart tonight. I want to cry but I'll just do it tmr. Right now, I need to escape from reality. One after another, problems after problems. Just keep dragging me down, just keep killing me.
What else? What more can you possibly take from me. Emotionally drained, I surrender. Here, take my heart, cause that's all I left.

Nufailmahmood

So I couldn't take it anymore.
I finally texted her again this afternoon, prayed so hard that she'll reply and she did. But what's the use? My heart stops when she replies, my heart skips a beat when I see her. My heart explodes when she looks at me. Doesn't all these say something?
Why the fuck do I have to deal with this? Is adding another fucked up problem just another cruel joke, God?
You just keep on doing that okay?
Can't you see how her actions affects me? Just one chance, that's all I need. Just her, that's all I desire for. God, I'm about to kill myself and there you are, not giving a fuck about me. Just tell me what to do. Give up? Cause it's been 6 fucking months, and I can't do it anymore. I can't watch her live her life without me in it. Do you have any idea how much it hurts? Try stabbing yourself with a pen over and over again, that's the feeling. I hate this so much. Why me? Oh yeah I forgot, cause I fucking deserve it ehy? Fuck this, Goodfuckingnight.

I've died so many times...

Pretty much done with everything.
I've enough of trying to fucking God damn please everyone. Just gonna shut my mouth cause that's probably the most I can do to not get into deeper shit. I hope my day come, I can't hold on much longer. I know myself and if smoking doesn't kill me then I guess I'll have to use other methods. Yeah right now I need an angel in disguise that's the only thing I need right now. Or maybe a gun. Both will do.
If ever somebody reads this, just remember NOBODY WILL EVER GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU, SO DON'T BOTHER HOPING AND PRAYING THAT SOMEDAY SOMEONE WILL HELP. THAT DAY WILL NEVER COME, TRUST ME. Trust the girl who died a thousand times.

Ms.n.

People say that God only gives us what we need not what we want.
I guess God knew that I needed a good day, so he gave me Today.
Though I had on and off headaches, I still enjoyed today. Long story, too lazy to talk about it. I didnt go to school today but i still thought abut her every second. I hope I'll see her tmr. Goodnight world.

God this is an emergency

I want to be non existent.
I want to be heartless.
Can someone teach me how to do all that?
Can someone tell me what to do.
Cause there seems to be no way.
There's never a time when everyone ever satisfied with my actions.
Whatever I say, whatever I do
Everything about me is just wrong.
Everytime I close my eyes and pause for a second, tears form in my eyes.
Nobody said that this will be easy, but this is not even near easy.
I don't see a point in living such a difficult life I don't actually know what I'm living for.

I want to praise myself for acting so well today. Even Ms tan thought that I was in a good mood. I decided to just put on my poker face to everyone. I really can't trust anyone already, and it sucks. Not a single one out there knows I'm hurting so badly.. Nevermind, I'll just feel better after a few puffs or maybe I'll eat like a lot.
I'm really in love with n... I think she's the one, and i'm serious. God, just give her to me and I'll leave you alone. I won't even care if my days get 10 times worse than what I'm already going through. I just need her.

I'm dead to the world.
I'm dead inside.
I surrender, you win God.

Fml again?

There's only a limit to my patience.
So don't fucking blow it.
So fucking tired of everyone
And how they treat me.
I'm like a dog, a slave, a joke..
What else? Maybe everything else except for a human.
And the only way I'm dealing with all these is just ranting out here on this fucking blog that only i read.
What irritates me most is when i've done so many things and yet I'm never appreciated. People say hurtful things to me, ask me to do so many things for them and when i finally say something back or don't do what they've asked, they get angry... It's like I'm never ever going to have a life. I really ask myself sometimes... Should i just forget about my own feelings completely and just shut my mouth and please everyone? Should i just shut off completely cause obviously I'm not wanted.
In school, at home, where else?
Everyday it gets harder.
I'd give up my life for some kid in Africa who's suffering from some disease or starving right now.
Cause i know every other life out there in this world is so much more worth mine.
The pain in me is unbearable.
Have you ever felt so helpless that it hurts so badly?
It sucks to be in this alone,
It sucks even more that i thought that THEY will stick with me no matter what.
People always say "everybody has there ups and downs"
Is that true? Cause i don't know what or who to believe anymore.
Hope's the only thing that i have, but it's decreasing everytime i fall.
I don't know how long more until i give up completely.

Deprived

I'm in need of a stick right now.
It has actually been one to two months since i had a puff.
But on the night of Easter Vigil,
I broke the promise i made.
I'm just so tired and my craving is getting worse.
I'll start again and this time i will not quit.
& I'd have higher chance of dying. Cause that's what everyone wants right? For me to disappear...

Another one of my poems.

As I'm standing in the rain
Drenched from head to toe,
I lick the water on my lips.
Isn't rainwater supposed to taste like fresh water?
So why oh why do i taste saltiness,
That lingers on the tip of my tongue?
Then i realise that the drops are actually tear drops from my eyes.
I can no longer take the weight on my shoulders,
I'm not able to go on this journey.
I have never felt this lonely before,
I have never been so cold.
But as i feel the rain pouring over me,
I start to feel numb.
I close my eyes and say my last few words.
I thank god for giving me this life,
Because nobody else deserves to go through what I have gone though.

Broken heart again, another lesson learnt.

It's Asyiqin's birthday tomorrow and i drew an Elephant for her cause she likes elephants. Haha. I'd show....... the picture i took of it cause she's always supporting me no matter how ugly my stuff are... But guess what we are like strangers now and she texted me today and asked if i was angry with her. Wtf much.
Ps. I have loads of crap i want to say but no I'm way too tired to type out anything anymore. Goodnight.

I.I.L.W.M.N.

The day when i lost my heart was the day i lost my mind too. Everything seems so dull. I've lost my happiness once again. Tell me how do i fix this cause there seems to be no way. Tell me how do i win your heart cause i haven't got a clue. God, just give us a chance. I know she's the one for me and i'll be the one for her. Maybe then my happiness will return.

I miss talking, i hate how i have no one to talk to anymore. It hurts so badly. I hate this.

My 11:11 wish

好心没好报。

Longlong day today, glad monday's over... This morning i was woken up by thunders and it was weird cause, it wasn't raining. I totally regret when i looked out the window cause there were lightning almost every 5 seconds. When the rain came, my bed became more inviting and i had to take a lot of effort just to get out of bed. The rain quickly changed to a storm and i became high~ Haha. All i was thinking about when i was in the car was dancing in the rain. Sadly i didn't.
School was okay today i guess... Ms N placed me in the first group of practical so my N levels practical is next week! Zomg.
After school, Gen, Claire, Shenna, Simran and i went to parkway for lunch. We at KFC and then Sougurt. Gen and i shared a cup. Hahaha. After Shenna, Simran and Claire left for tuition, Gen and I went back to pp to shop. I needed to get ingredients and Gen wanted to get some stuff for Leroy. We had a really good time lol.
I reached home at 545, had a quick shower and started to prepare dinner already. I took exactly 2 hrs to cook and serve so i'm pretty worried cause i only cooked 2 dishes out of the 4 i need to cook for practical. Dinner was served at 8. Everything was fine, everybody was eating happily when my Mum started talking about my food... And in the end everybody got upset, the mood was totally ruined and now i don't plan to talk to her at all.. I don't even want to cook anymore. Instead of appreciating, i was reprimanded and criticized. I didn't even get to rest when i came home and it's been 14 hours since i lied on my bed. Not one single thank you from my Mum.. But nevermind, at least everyone else said dinner was good.
I saw ..........'s message about her injuring her toe and i'm worried but idk... I haven't talked to anyone for a while and idk if it's a good thing or not. Forget it, i was born alone into this world, i'm gonna die alone too.

Ps. This is what i cooked, pineapple fried rice and cream of mushroom soup.

I'm so disappointed. Is like i don't even know who my family is anymore.
When they need me then they come to me. When they are lonely they come to me for company, but when they aren't, they forget about me and just leave me alone. What am i to them? When they need something, i have to get it for them. If i say no they have all the fucking rights to be angry with me. Kcan. If i ever ask them to get me something i can bet with you a 100 bucks that they'll say no. I want to change my name to slave or maybe dog? Or how about if i just have no name. Nobody treat me like a human anyway.

That one girl

The one thing i most desire for is Love. Not just any love but true love. I want her to be the first thing on my mind when i wake up and the last thing on my mind when i go to sleep. I want to share with her every little thing that i have even if it's not much anyway. I want to have that skipping of a heart beat everytime i look into her eyes, and i want to have that same feeling of love from the first time i had that crush on her till death do us apart. I want to cook for her everyday eventhough i said i'll only cook on special occasions. I want to spend every minute of my life with her and i never want to feel uncomfortable infront of her even if i act like a girl or dress like one. I want to love her for who she it and i'll accept both her good and bad points. I want to play the penis game with her and i'll never get tired of her. Last of all and the most important thing, i'll want her to to love me the way i'll love her. And i want her to want all that i wanted for her the same to me. This is my wish, my deepest desire.

It's a very very mad world.

So i'm tired and still deciding if i should go to church tmr. I miss my kids but i don't want to see the other people.


It's been a long day today and i don't know why but i've been upset the whole day. But at least i didn't show it, my pokerface seems to be getting better everyday. I actually didn't sleep well last night. It rained the whole night and eventhough my windows were closed, I was practically freezing. And i think my sister passed her cough to me. Sometimes i would just randomly wake up in the middle of the night just to cough, that was how bad it was. So you can guess how tired i am right now.


Everybody has been blaming me for everything today. It's like nothing i did was correct, while everything they did was perfect. It happened during baking class, and it happened again at home. My Mum was complaining about my Dad and i tried to side him and in the end i got scolded too. And my Mum asked if i could undertand English.. Thanks for the support Mum.


It's time to take my daily medication, but i don't feel like taking it. This is the third night in the row that i've not taken it... I'm scared. I feel like i can't trust what this pill does to me. Not after what my mum told me about the effects for my other pills. I feel as if nobody believes me, especially the doctors. They think i'm lying about my migraines, they think i'm crazy. Who knows? Maybe i am. I feel crazy. I'm crazy enough to continue living in this fucked up world where no one cares.

Probably good for nothing

So today has been pretty much crazy. I don't really want to thank god it's friday, cause my weekend plans are usually the same as weekdays. There's not a single night in the whole week that i can actually sleep in. And i'm so tired right now, it's not even funny anymore...
So this morning i woke up at 6 to wake my brother up for school. But when i went out of my room, i saw my brother coming out of his room too so i actually woke up for nothing. At 640 my brother woke me up and asked me if i could send him up the bus, i agreed and when i went out of my room my Mum came out of her room and asked me what i was doing. I mean like isn't it obvious enough? Haha. I told her and she just asked me to go back to sleep, another 'waking up' for nothing. So it's pretty much obvious that when i had to wake up at 730, i was exhausted! HBL was fun though. Seriously, we should have hbl like once a month!
During my break, i went out to get lunch for my Mum, Sis and myself. And i totally forgot that today's friday
again, so i basically bought like fried chicken, sausages, otah and other meat... Tsk. Lucky my Mum didn't scold me. After hbl was over, my Sis asked me if i wanted to go out or not. How to say no right? ..........
When i was about to bathe to get ready to go out, which was at about 420, my Mum came into the room and asked both my Sis and i to skype Lao ee. In the end we were late cause we talked too long, lol. Lucky there was another time slot for hunger games at 550 so we cabbed there. And good, cause we made it in time.The movie was really good, and i wouldn't mind watching it again.
Here comes the sad part. After the movie, my Sister wasn't feeling really good but she still wanted to go to expo, so we cabbed there. Her feet were hurting cause she was wearing realling tall heels and so she got upset when we couldn't find Jean D. In the end we found her and while we were waiting for an opportunity to talk to Jean D, my Sis twisted her ankle and fell. I didn't really saw what happened, not until i heard stuff. I helped her up and she was so embarressed because the place was really crowded. The guys from first 11 were there with Jean D, and people were taking pictures of and with them. A group of malay ladies suddenly appeared and they caught my attention because they were so loud and noisy, and guess who i saw... One of thee ladies was Ms N... She was laughing really loud when suddenly she saw me too, her face expression immediatlely changed (priceless).. I looked away, and she actually approached me and started talking to me.. Okay lets just forget about that, back to the sad story. My Sis felt like Jean D was avoiding her, and i actually sensed it too but i didn't want to upset her so i told her that she was just being paranoid. Stuff happened and when my Sis was waiting for Jean D cause she asked her to wait for her, my Sis suddenly just wanted to go. We went out of the hall and she told me that she needed to sit down, so we sat outside the hall. And she just started crying... She was crying halfway when all of them came out, all the guys, then followed by Ms N and her friends and then Jean D. They all left and when i turned to look at Ms N, she turned too and she smiled at me for about 5 seconds. My sister didn't really talk much after she cried. And i didn't know what to do. She bought me a hot dog bun and i ate it while we waited for a cab. When we reached outside my house, my sister tripped and fell at the road, and when i wanted to help her up, she started crying again. And that part I was literally screaming in my head to God, asking why does he have to be like that. I'm already experiencing the sucking of life, why does he have to make the people around me suffer too.. When we finally reached home, and when she sat down, i realised that her knee was bleeding. I hate how my sister is suffering and i can't do anything about it.
My tweet goes out to her ' I can beat up anyonewo bullies my sister, i can protect her from anything. But tell me, how do i stop her from getting her heart broken? '
No matter how much we may fight, I still love my Sister and i never want to see her so upset. So Jean D, you have lost my respect.

Things going through my head

Some people just cannot take no for an answer. I just hope one day karma will fucking strike you.

11:11

So many things i want in life. And i just realised that eventhough i wish to end my life almost every other night, i still want a lot of things. So tonight i wish to have at least one of my dreams, come true.

Fishy

One day my girlfriend will take me to an aquarium and we'll spend the day there. Cause she'll know everything about me and one of the things i absolutely love, is everything about the sea.

Empty soul

So i asked Ms Tan to side my sister and be there for her because she needs her. Ms Tan replied and asked me :"what about you?" I plan not to reply her but this is what i wanted to say
"I don't need anyone, cause i'm already dead"

God help me.

"Blood is thicker than water"
Fuck that shit. My family members are so fucked up they don't deserve me. They deserve shit. Only when they need or want something then they come to me. If i ever say no or can't do it, they get angry and stop talking to me. I don't know if i should change my name to Maid or Slave or i don't know. And what's worse is i'm always the one apologising,
even when i didn't do anything...
My face is all wet, second time crying on the same night.
Right now i need God, this is an emergency. I can't take it anymore. I know my limits and i've already reached it.

My brother just said something to me. And i think i just literally died.
My own blood brother would say these kind of things to me.
I actually don't know what to do anymore.

Silent cry

The only lesson i've learnt after getting my heart break a thousand times is not to trust anybody.
So i would rather just keep everything to myself than to tell you anything.
I would rather just suffer silently than to let you know how much pain i'm actually feeling.

So many things.

So many things bothering me.
So much things on my mind.
So many things i want to say,
Yet so little words comes out.
So many friends that i have,
Yet so few to rely on.
So many things to be grateful for,
But so many things i ain't happy about.
So many things i want to change,
But i've no idea where to start.
So many dreams to fulfill,
But only one i wish for everynight.
So many expectations to live up to,
But all I give back are dissapointments.

Why the fuck am i always so dam unlucky?

Us.

February 2012.

Tired.

Why is everyone so dam fucked-up annoying? I'm so pissed i can explode right now.. Like, has anyone ever cared about me? All i do is please everyone. Why am i trying so dam hard to make everyone else happy?
So numb, the only thing i feel is this pain, deep inside my heart. I'm broken and scared and there's nothing i do about it. Tonight, my only prayer is for me to never open my eyes again once i fall asleep.

I'm dying

Feeling so sick right now..
Even my body's giving up on me.
I feel as if i'm going to die soon.
So weak, so tired.

Fml yet again

Is there anyone out there that can fix someone? I need to be mended.
I have no one to count on, no one to go to. 
Not today.. I lost Wati, .........'s in Malaysia 
and i havent replied and of her whatsapp msges. 
No one else. I don't care if this is a paradigm or not. I'm so tired. 
And God knows how long i've been tired for.
I have no motivation, no inspiration.
I wake up every morning to find that i've lived another fucking day... 

I'm so god damn tired of life.
I don't even want to talk about anything anymore.
Everything, EVERYTHING seems to be my fault.
Whatever i say or do is wrong.
Why am i even here in the first place?
Why am i holding back?
Oh cause im hoping and praying,
maybe someday someone would help me.
Reality check, no one is going to do that.
I'm just slowly fading away.
Deep inside im dying every minute.

Love Strikes.

Eh boy , why you so cute?

Love Strikes.

Weather so shiok.

  

Love Strikes.






















It's such a cold day today.
I fucking ran for the bus in the morning,
i don't even know why i ran..
And then i couldn't breathe, tsk.
I left my earpiece at home 
so i was kinda irritated :(
I need music in the morning!
School was okay today,
i realised that those Eng stuff i did last week
was counted in CA. 
And i copied every single thing from my friend..
We kinda had free period during CCE,
so Ms G thought us Chem.
She was like totally rushing  while teaching.
I felt like..... She was already rushing just
cause she wanted us to know how to do some 
chemical bonding thing and she only had an hour.
And I didn't even know what she was talking about
I felt so dumb and unprepared .
I'm so not ready for EOY :/
During recess i found out that choc milk
have like way too much sugar in it.
Why????!!!!!! I <3 chocolate milk.
Went home straight after school.
Took a nap, and woke up an hour later.
Totally regret sleeping la,
i became more tired + headache became worse.
But i felt way better after i ate.
My water diet's never gonna work 
if i continue being like this.
Right now i'm drinking choc milk (AGAIN) 
and eating grapes.
Oh just remembered that i'm meeting Ms N
tomorrow. Heh (:
Wanted to talk about .............
But idk there's just so many things i want to say.
I just feel like H doesn't have time for G anymore.
And G's just too busy trying so hard to study
but always failing to and 
she just cant stay back to wait for H.anymore.

I miss her

Love Strikes.

















It's been such a bloody long day.. 
Monday sucks hard core.
School was somehow longer than usual,
and i hardly paid any attention in class.
I was already so tired and lessons were boring.
After school, i met Wati to go for DC.
All we had to do was do some reflections,
and stay for 1hr30mins . 
Omg i tricked .......... today during detention.
And she totally fell for it. HAHAHAHA.. 
I called her twice and she rejected me!
lol She never hanged up on me before!
I just reached home not long ago and
she haven't actually tried contacting me yet.
Doesn't she care if i'm in big trouble or not?
Fuck no. Sigh
.......... has been acting so weirdly .
What's up with her sia :/  
She doesn't seem like she care about me.
I miss her like fuck lah. Tsk.
Its 6 already and i haven't even start on F&N yet.
I'm so tired 
and i actually wanted to sleep early tonight.
i guess not.
The only nice thing that happened was,
Mum got me banana & chocolate waffle :)
Really have to start on F&N now!!
Kbye.

Eh fuck i want..

I want :(

Without you girl,

Love Strikes

Today was such a fun day at church 
(only during cat class)

I took over cause Aunty Vino couldn't make it

The kids were restless and noisy but 
i managed it considering i'm like that hahaha.

I finished what i wanted to teach 
15mins before class ended,

so i decided to let them play ice & water,

They were so cute

Went for mass with my Dad and Bro,

and i realised that they changed the way 
of mass, I kinda like the older way 
since i'm so used to it.

After mass, we went home.

We had lunch and then i started 'studying'

Mum had to beg me to go and study :/

I have never study at home before,

so i'm pretty proud of myself now :)

Right now i'm taking a break and eating
grapes.Healthy much? :P 

Going to continue on Bio in about 10 mins.

Then maybe stop to have dinner
than its time to sleep!

School tmr, so not looking forward to it.

Fuck I have detention too. Sigh. Fuck KC

Birthday Wish List

My Birthday's in 2weeks plus..

Time passes so fast.

What i really want :/
1. LongBoard

  Prety Pleaseeeeeeee

 2. A cool helmet (but must get longboard first)

3. Clothes and tongue studs

4.A really hot girlfriend :P

5.White ink tattoo

6. And money $$$ 

Sigh. Wished i had it all.
      I'd be happy

FML

Love Strikes.
Its been so long since i Blogged.. More than a year.
Life's been very hard.
I'm single now with not a single true friend maybe except for Wati.
There's so many things i want to say but nothing's coming out.
I cut my hair last year, so now i'm a Butch? lol
I kinda don't regret but if i could turn back time i wouldn't cut my hair.
People said i changed, and maybe i did.
I'm still in secondary 3 and i think i'm going to retain again.
I really hate my life and i'm hardly happy now a days..

2 days back (19/1)

Had exercise in the morning.

I didnt really want to run,

so i slacked a little.

We had to run 1 round VJC.

Mr J was running with us.

When i was about to run into the school,

I saw Mr J and a few of my classmates,

so i went to them.

Mr J wanted us to sprint,

1 round the kennel and then,

into the school..

So we started running,

I ran ahead of him,

and he started pressure-rising me.

LOL, i kept running faster.

but i gave up because i was too tired.

But i felt that Mr J helped me.

After recess,

Ardini call me "fat pig" !!!!

I was angry then i grab her uniform.

she pulled hard and I fell off the chair.

lol..

Annabel didnt go to school because she was sick.

Yesterday (20/1)

Had P.E.

We ran half of 2.4km.

And in the end i was 5th.

Yasmyn, Dianty, Danielle, Syazwani then me.

My timing was 10:22s.

After we ran,

we went to take height and weight.

My weight is 39kg.

No time to take height,

...

I had to stay back because of NYAA.

MST took revenge.

She BLINKED at me!!

Hmphh..

...

I fought with Chermine and Jill.

My bff and great friend is gone now..

I only left Syazwani, Dinisha and Clara.

I cannot afford to lose anyone now.

I cant..

I fought with Annabel too.

Fuck her...

...

Today.

I didnt go to school today..

Saw M.T today.
She wore this cute black dress,
that really fitted her.
She look really nice in it.
Miss her so much..

...

School was so boring today.
My Hyper-mode didnt activate,
and i was so sleepy.
Didnt do Art H/w,
And Mr J called my Mum.

...

I didnt talk to Annabel today,
I didnt smile at her.
All i did was look at her a few times.
I miss her, but i don't know what to do..
ILY A.

I really want to know.
What the fuck you do at home.
Why not let me tell you,
what you do.
You, Fucking dont do anything..
If you went to work,
and earn money for the family,
I wouldnt be so mad at you.
But You're just not doing anything at all.

...

I love you.
And i dont want break up with you.
I need time to forget the past.
And you're not helping me.
I hate it when people touch me.
But because of you,
im trying so hard to let go.
I let you hug me,
I let you hold my hand.
So, dont blame me for not doing,
anything with you.

...

Sometimes, I wonder how people.
can stand me..
I hate my attitude,
I hate everything about me.
I cant control my feelings..
...

Love Strikes.

I didnt feel like going to school today.
But because it was a friday,
I had to go to see Annabel :)
We had to do some Yog stuff.
And our class screwed up.
Why isit always my class,
screwing up?
Or isit because,
Im the screwed up :(
Talked to Ang mo girl today.
Said this to Syazwani :
"You're Fucking annoying!"
So many things happened.
After school, Anna,
Hugged me.
I badly wanted a kiss,
but she didnt, and i didnt dare.

Under the Sea.

Went to Science Centre today :)
It was Awesome!
Onmi Theater and Body world were great!
Annabel was with me almost all of the time.
She kept holding my hand :)
But i never really feel,
comfortable when someone touches me.
Not after what he did.

....

Played Tennis with Dinisha and Jill.
At the end,
Dini and I were hitting balls.
We wanted to make the ball stuck onto the net.
And in the end,
Jill had to ask a worker to help us. LOL

...

Went home with Dini.
Saw Jiajia walking, And we said goodbye.
I looked behind and BOOMZ.
Lightning shocked me..
She smiled at me.
That smile is the sweetest smile i've ever seen.

SOS

Its been like 2months since I blogged. LOL
My Dogs are barking, Im hungry, and I have a headeche.
Im back with her :) Love you baby.
We went to Chijmes today.
Actually we supposed to go malaysia one lor.
Then got bomb :(
But Chijmes was not bad.. Hahaha.
Since school started,
I've been walking pass T, Like million of times.
Keep eye contacting each other during assemblys.
Fuck this shit, 1 time when i looked at her, I cried.
Please get out of my heart.

I need help.
I cant control myself.
I cant, i want to stop, but i cant.
Im fucking depressed.
help.

Theres this new Ang mo girl in my class.
Quite cute, but i so don't like her.
LOL I Like and Love Annabel :)

Saw Queenie and Corrine today,
Supprised my eyes didnt even look at Q.
Hmmm, so my heart is loyal.
Great. lol.