I finally texted her again this afternoon, prayed so hard that she'll reply and she did. But what's the use? My heart stops when she replies, my heart skips a beat when I see her. My heart explodes when she looks at me. Doesn't all these say something?
Why the fuck do I have to deal with this? Is adding another fucked up problem just another cruel joke, God?
You just keep on doing that okay?
Can't you see how her actions affects me? Just one chance, that's all I need. Just her, that's all I desire for. God, I'm about to kill myself and there you are, not giving a fuck about me. Just tell me what to do. Give up? Cause it's been 6 fucking months, and I can't do it anymore. I can't watch her live her life without me in it. Do you have any idea how much it hurts? Try stabbing yourself with a pen over and over again, that's the feeling. I hate this so much. Why me? Oh yeah I forgot, cause I fucking deserve it ehy? Fuck this, Goodfuckingnight.
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