Crash and burn

Today was really okay, but why was I so foolish to think that everything would stay that way. But I don't feel like talking about what happened. I just hate how things had to end like that.
I just had an attack not long ago and I'm glad it's over now, I thought I was going to die. I guessed I drank too much plus I smoked too. Usually when I do both on the same day means I either was partying or I'm severely damaged. There wasn't a party today so yeah.. I was in so much pain just now, I just wanted to stop doing everything and just lie on the floor... But at least that's over and now I'm having a really bad headache, not surprised if I get a hangover tomorrow. Not looking forward to school, just want the June holidays to come.
I'm so tired, I think I'm really running out of battery. I kinda want to cut myself before I go to sleep though. I don't know if I'm just talking cock now, yeah maybe I am. I mean I know I'm going crazy, so yeah.. I reek of alcohol and smoke but I don't give a fuck, I like this smell. Just read from somewhere that teenagers that smoke, drink and eat junk food are most likely to be unhappy. True dat. But what to do? There's only these left that make me better.