You're in my mind like a song on a radio

It's fucking 6 in the morning and I haven't slept at all. First it was hot, then the musquitoes decided to suck half my legs away. Then lightning came and then the storm. The heavy rain and loud thunder freaked my dog. And I felt so pissed cause I couldn't sleep. I didn't know which was more annoying, the freaking bright lightnings and loud thunders or my dog who kept barking non-stop. I know it wasn't his fault. I actually went downstairs and sat with him for awhile, and it was so cold, and scary.. No wonder he kept barking. The rain has stopped but I can still hear thunder rumbling from a distance. But there's still lighting and they have become so bright, I think I may need some shades... So so tired, everything seems to be hurting. My chest, my head, my eyes, my stomach.

Now I'm even having difficulties trying to escape from reality. Can't sleep, Can't eat. What the fuck do I do then? At least I still have sticks and I draw whenever I have the time. Last weekend, when I was supposed to be studying for my last paper, food and nutrition, I drew instead. I kinda fucking regret changing my subjects. I hate how I can't cook and the theory's just bullshit to me. And I hate how I met her and got my heart broken many times. But what's worst is I hate how much I love drawing, and sketching and painting and every fucking thing that relates to art. I hate how I like to dress up with matching colours, I hate to look at paintings and have so many opinions about it. I hate all these so much cause I don't have the talent. Everything I love, I don't seem to deserve.